A poem on the set of a sun.

Been working on this one for a couple days. Still feels a little undone. I should maybe let it rest a bit, but I lack any sort of patience. So I going post it for a little feed back on it. Good, so-so, needs salt, less pepper, a waste of pixels, anything. Of course as the writer I reserve the right to ignore all critique. Well, all but my own. I can never ignore that sadly. Anyways, here it is.

The coming night

Cloud lips, rose colored
Kiss my eye,
Then turn gray
As sun from them runs.
Cobalt hangs a moment,
Over poles and house peaks.
Holding, oh too shortly
The last of day's
Luminescence.
But failing,
Fades away to Blackness
And her starry chains.
With which she binds
Breath to beauty.